Cinema Monolith

Reviews of movies from my giant DVD tower, and more.

The Creeping Terror

The Creeping Terror

Cinema Monolith: 1/10 This film is part of the Cinema Monolith collection!
IMDb: 2/10
Leonard Maltin’s Movie Guide: BOMB

Released sometime in 1964
Not rated
75 minutes

Directed by Vic Savage (as A.J. Nelson)

Written by Robert Silliphant

Cast: Vic Savage, Shannon O’Neil, William Thourlby, John Caresio, Norman Boone, Byrd Holland, Jack King, Pierre Kopp, Ken Savage, Les La Marr, and Louise Lawson as the Blonde in Gold Pants

Good lord, I think I’ve finally found the crappiest movie ever made, topping my previous contenders Robot Monster and Galaxina for sheer ineptitude, lack of production value, unintentional laughs, and any other negative category you can come up with: yes, it’s The Creeping Terror, a hilariously-bad hybrid of sci-fi, monster horror, and uncomfortable romance drama, and my newly-crowned best worst movie of all time.

The story is a simple but baffling one: a spaceship lands near a small back-country town, and a turd-like, parade-float-looking alien with what looks like a giant female reproductive organ on its chest begins to wreak havoc at a snail’s pace, where the newly-appointed town sheriff (as played by the director), his newlywed wife, a scientist, a military platoon, and a host of other locals do their best to stop the creature, who crawls a path of destruction through the surrounding countryside, feeding off people who are strangely apathetic about it all, and who simply refuse to run away.

Everything that could go wrong with this production apparently did: the original monster was stolen just before filming began, the director disappeared after production ended, and the film’s audio track was either lost by the crew or never existed in the first place, prompting the hiring of a local newsman to narrate the entire film! Horrific acting, dialogue, props, and situations merely added to the fun. But for me, the most incredible moment…well, all of them were incredible…but the absolute most incredible had to be the community dance hall sequence, which defies logical explanation and must be seen to be understood and fully appreciated. And that hot number in the black halter top and tight pants? Yeah, I was mesmerized…so what?

And though there were countless other jaw-dropping scenes and moments—a rotund fisherman bumbling through the brush yelling for his grandson, the creature getting it on with a sports car, a hapless baby getting its temperature taken the hard way, and the most phony live grenade stumble-and-fall acting job you’ll see anywhere—the dance hall scene served as the perfect encapsulation of everything whacked-out about this movie, and thus made it watchable for me again and again, and helped earn the entire mess a surprising one-star rating. All in all, seventy-five minutes of mind-boggling hilarity and celluloid mayhem.  (1/10)

 The Creeping Terror

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4 comments on “The Creeping Terror

  1. oneluckiegirl
    2/1/13

    And thank you for loaning me this little treasure! You forgot the part about the rocket ship. Or was that another movie?

    I still say Eyes Wide Shut is the all time worst movie. Just throwing that out there from left field.

  2. Todd Benefiel
    2/1/13

    Oh no, there was indeed a rocket ship sequence in this movie, at the beginning, where the filmmakers depicted a ship landing by playing footage of rocket launch…backwards.

    And I’ve never seen Eyes Wide Shut, but now that someone provided me with the means to sign up to Netflix Streaming (or Steaming, which I just mistyped, and which actually makes sense here), I may have to put it in my queue. And see if your throw from left field actually makes it to home plate.

    Or something like that.

  3. Tyson Carter
    2/7/13

    Alright Todd, I put this on Stumble and Reddit. Please let me know if you get any views from it, it should be quite quick normally. Cheers 🙂

  4. Todd Benefiel
    2/7/13

    Thanks Tyson, I’ll keep you posted!

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