Cinema Monolith

Reviews of movies from my giant DVD tower, and more.

Mac and Me

Mac and Me - poster 190Cinema Monolith: 1/10
IMDb: 3.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes: 0%

Released on August 12, 1988
Rated PG
95 minutes

Directed by Stewart Raffill

Written by Stewart Raffill and Steve Feke

Cast: Jade Calegory, Christine Ebersole, Jonathan Ward, Tina Caspary, Lauren Stanley, Vinnie Torrente, Martin West, Ivan J. Rado, Danny Cooksey, Nikki Cox and Jennifer Aniston (as dancers, apparently), and Squire Fridell as Ronald McDonald

A while back I’d read that whenever comedic actor Paul Rudd would appear on a certain late-night talk show to promote his latest film, he’d surprise everyone with a different clip, one showing a wheelchair-bound boy careening off a cliff edge and plunging into a lake. This scene, from a family sci-fi fantasy film titled Mac and Me, would always elicit a hearty round of laughter from the audience members and host, and when I later discovered it had a bottom-dwelling 0% rating at the Rotten Tomatoes aggregate film review site, I decided it was high time I got in on the fun as well.

Well, ‘fun’ it was not, as I so regrettably found out. Good lord, what a sorry excuse for a message film! What a sorry excuse for a film! This was nothing more than a shameless pilfering of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, with a young boy named Eric befriending an alien life form named Mac (an acronym for ‘Mysterious Alien Creature’, or more appropriately, ‘McDonald’s Ad Campaign’) and getting into all sorts of riotous and life-threatening misadventures. All that was missing from this cinematic doppelgänger were scenes of Mac phoning home and riding a bicycle across a night sky; even so, it made me wonder if a copyright infringement lawsuit was ever drawn up by Spielberg’s lawyers and presented to the responsible parties. Indeed, it was that blatant, and that bad.

But since this movie was aimed squarely at kids, and undemanding ones at that, the low-grade story and implausible situations could be considered excusable. But if you’re an adult viewer and looking for positives, well, good luck with that. I guess you could argue that Alan Silvestri’s majestic score was a plus, though it sounded like it belonged in an entirely different film altogether, and the acting of newcomer Jade Calegory, playing Eric, thankfully wasn’t grating or obnoxious, as you might expect. But director Stewart Raffill, whose most recent efforts included The Ice Pirates four years earlier, was merely so-so behind the camera, and his work on the screenplay—co-authored with television writer Steve Feke—was awkward at best, and sickening at its worst.

And when I say sickening, I’m referring to Mac and his nightmare fuel family: bipedal and hairless, with beer-gorged stomachs, dried pig ears, and eyes straight from the baddest of acid trips. These things were just plain awful, and their every appearance on-screen was an eye-rolling mess. Want more? How about a ‘pray it isn’t really happening’ dance sequence inside a McDonald’s restaurant, which featured Mac in a bear suit performing disco moves on a countertop, while everyone else—including three Washington Redskins players in full uniform—danced their happy hearts out? And more? How about to top it all off, an explosive fireball of an ending, which I’ll spoil by telling you that Eric is…killed!

Yes, killed…as in, he literally meets his fiery (or maybe bullet-riddled) demise. Which then of course begs the question: can Mac and his alien family—who somehow survived the explosion—coax Eric’s dead body back to life? I hate to say this, but you’ll have to sit through 95 minutes of this cosmic freak show to find out. And if you’re wondering why, after all this negativity, I’m giving Mac and Me a rating of 1 instead of a much-deserved zero, it’s because to some extent I was entertained…just not in the way the filmmakers intended.  (1/10)

Mac and Me

24 comments on “Mac and Me

  1. jennifer

    I’ve never even heard of this movie and sounds like I’m not missing much!

    • Todd B

      You’re not missing ANYthing, save for an evening MST3K-ing the damn thing with Steve! Used copies are available from Amazon for around two bucks, if you’re interested.

  2. Stu

    I’ve never seen this but laughed when I saw the scores at the top of the page! Those IMDb users are generous to a fault, aren’t they? Despite everything I’ve just read I’d actually watch this for a giggle.

    • Todd B

      Stu, if you were to actually sit down and watch Mac and Me, and then review it, I would forgive the fact that you never finished Eegah, and would never mention that indiscretion again. Of course, this assumes that you actually finish Mac and Me…a more difficult chore than you might expect. And check this out: the DVD is available right now at Amazon UK for £6.92, used. Hmmmm…

      • Stu

        £6.92? That’s currently the equivalent of 25 cents…a bargain!

      • Todd B

        Oops, wait a minute…I thought £ meant ¥. You’d actually be paying 18 cents more than it’s worth. Never mind, just watch the YouTube version, dubbed in Spanish. I think it actually makes more sense that way.

      • Stu

        Después he observado Eegah!

      • Todd B

        Wait, my Spanish is a little rusty; you’re saying you’ve watched Eegah? And a review is on the way? Could this be true? Have I died and gone to heaven? Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico? Buen señor!

      • Stu

        Damn, I thought I was saying ‘Stout yeoman, which way to the nearest taqueria?’

      • Todd B

        That would be the English to Indonesian on-line translator, my good but flummoxed friend. And to answer your question: Terdekat Taco Bell bagi saya adalah sekitar satu mil jauhnya.

  3. Dracula

    1/10, is this the lowest rating to date? Could it be the worst film in the Monolith?

    • Todd B

      Ooooh, a good guess, but no: currently I have eleven 1-star movies reviewed in the Monolith, and three 0-star. Those three zero-level garbage bags are: Here Come the Tigers, MacGruber, and The Party Animal.

      • Dracula

        How does such 1 and 0 star movies end up in the Monolith? Are these films you pick up for $.50 at the Kmart going out of business sale? How about a short posting of the worst movie reviewed to date?

      • Todd B

        Thankfully, only one of those three zeros exists on the Monolith: Here Come the Tigers. It’s one of the 50 or so baseball movies I picked up a couple years ago on DVD, when I wanted to watch and review as many baseball films for the site as I could. And I believe it cost me about a buck. And, I believe it is the worst movie I’ve reviewed to date. But you realize, of course, that to write a short post about it, I’d actually have to watch it again.

  4. Kmart is going out of business? Yikes, I’d better hurry! Thanks for saving me the trouble of watching Mac and Me which likely never would have crossed my path had you not reviewed it. Sounds terrible. I’ll pass thanks. Enjoyed the review tho! Always fun no matter how horrid the film. And the banter is an added bonus. 🙂

    PS: WordPress still sucks.

    • Todd B

      Well, apparently the Kmart in Romania is! And the one here in Peoria, and the one in Houghton Lake as well. So get to your local outlet fast, before all copies of Mac and Me are sold…or destroyed.

  5. Julie Dunning

    You are both nuts! 🙂

    • Todd B

      As are my legion of other followers.

  6. Julie Dunning

    Houghton Lake!! That’s the pot capital of Michigan! I should think they’d have several Kmarts. Thanks to your insightful geographic retail knowledge base, I will immediately head north – then on to Romania – with a final stop in Peoria. In neither location will I be watching Mac and Me however. Thanks for the heads-up!! Waitin’ for another “smokin’ hot” review!! 🙂

    • Todd B

      I don’t know if it’ll be smokin’ hot, but I’ll have another review posted hopefully tonight, if I can get my freaking bags packed before midnight! And don’t forget during your travels to stop in Escondido, CA – The Hexed Chickadee Capital of the World!

  7. Lol – ah yes – The Hex of The Chickadee! Very kewl – thanks for the reminder!!

    • Todd B

      Once you’ve been hexed, it’s hard to forget.

  8. Dracula

    Can’t get to the local Kmart to pick up the movie. Closes at 8pm and still too much daylight. Will try the 24 hour 7 Eleven.

    • Todd B

      Yes, I’m sure Redbox will have it, especially at your local 7-Unsprezece.

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Review Totals

Movies Reviewed: 219

From the Monolith: 123

Movies by Decade

1920s – 0
1930s – 6
1940s – 19
1950s – 34
1960s – 34
1970s – 35
1980s – 33
1990s – 5
2000s – 13
2010s – 40

Movies by Genre

Action/Adventure – 40
Comedy – 35
Crime – 20
Documentary – 4
Drama – 23
Horror – 38
Musical – 1
Mystery/Thriller – 19
Romance – 3
Sci-Fi/Fantasy – 27
Western – 8

Movies by CM Rating

10 star – 10
9 star – 27
8 star – 35
7 star – 31
6 star – 22
5 star – 21
4 star – 23
3 star – 18
2 star – 17
1 star – 12
0 star – 3

Movies by MPAA Rating

Pre-1968 – 88
G – 1
PG – 32
PG-13 – 34
R – 57
NC-17 – 0
TV and Unrated – 7

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